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Taboo: Forbidden Love ~ In Love With The Berlin Wall

15 Jun

This just proves that there is nothing that people won’t have sex with. It’s a damn good thing that the Berlin Wall is not a chain link or a wood fence or this woman vagina would have some real freaking problems.

I hope to god that Home depot stocked up on their plywood because I am sure they are going to be flying off the selves after this episode!  Poor lonely single women resorting to weird objects to love and have sex with. Why can’t she just get a long purple plastic “B.O.B” (Battery Operated Boyfriend) like the rest of us?  LOL! I am pretty sure dry humping a piece of wall for years and years in your twin bed doesn’t go over too well with the gentlemen callers or roommates. I just hope this woman is smart enough to throw in a replica of the Eiffel Tower and have an orgy!

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Sunny D and Rum

19 Apr

I am pretty sure she might brush her tooth with Sunny D and Rum too. I have the strong urge to get in the shower and rinse the trailer trash off of my body right now. Bless her little heart all she wants to be is the next Britney Spears.

I Am SO Disappointed Right Now: World’s Largest Penis

18 Apr

TLC Strange Sex: Well Hung

What a sad penis.

I am pretty sure this guys king cobra is trapped in a pair of Lee Dungarees and skid marked Junderpants. Of course the man with the largest Star Trek collection would also have the worlds largest dick.  I did NOT see this coming when analyzing the Penis Size World Chart! What a disappointment.  Why isn’t Mr. Moby Dick in the porn industry? At least in the porn industry he would get the respect that he deserves. And when I say respect I mean being able to bitch slap people with your 13.5 inch slong across the face.

Dear Vivid video, Please get your shit together.  Baby Forearm wants to be an actor and we are all pretty sure unless it’s on How To Catch a Predator we will never see this guy on T.V. Do your job.

Rebecca Black, It’s Friday ~ (Brock’s Dub) Addition

8 Apr

It’s Friday and guess what horrid song came into my head when I woke up this morning——>

♩ ♬ ♩ ♬  We so excited….we we we so excited…. fun fun fun fun…. yesterday was Thursday…. today is Friday….tomorrow is Sunday….front seat – back seat which one should I choose? ♩ ♬♩ ♬

Damn you Rebecca Black! There is nothing worse than having your shitty song stuck in my head! For all of my pain and suffering I have to repost this hilarious parody just to make myself feel better about today actually being Friday.

“Vocal Point” Acapella Group From BYU ~ Guess Which Ones Are Virgins?!

4 Apr

I am almost 100% positive that BYU doesn’t have to worry about kicking any of these playboys off of the team for having sex or breaking their code of conduct. Why? Because they are too busy making acapella renditions of Thriller and Inspector Gadget than to feel the sweet sweet pleasure of dry humping their girlfriend.

Hey there is nothin’ wrong with 9 “straight” guys in plaid shirts singing about what they wish they could do most “beat it…beat it…..” A member of the group even said, “When this opportunity arose and I said, oh this looks like the most fun thing in the world!”  Hey BYU captain chastity you wanna know what’s the most fun thing in the world is? Touching boobs. I am also pretty sure I heard somewhere that it doesn’t count if it’s just the tip?

The Breastfeeding Doll

1 Apr

Yup, it’s a thing

Photo of the Bebe Gloton doll inside its product box.

Bebé Glotón is a infant doll made by Berjuan, a toy maker in Spain that let’s children pretend to breast feed their doll.

Frankly breast feeding in public makes me uncomfortable. Mostly because I feel if my eyes even go into a 5 ft. radius of the breast feeding mother she will look at me with the stink eye and say “Why you looking at my nipple bitch?”

Little girls should be playing with My Little Pony or jump rope ~ NOT pretending to lactate. If you decided to buy your daughter this doll you might as well make a day out of it and go eat some breast milk ice cream! Mmm….

The Smooth Groove ~ For Your Discusting Camel Toe

30 Mar

Pumpkin puss Patty can now wear her white super tight hot pants every day, all thanks to the makers of The Smooth Grove!

Listen this product should be banned, it’s just allowing women to wear pants they shouldn’t be wearing in the first place! If your vagina is sucking in the front part of your pants it is probably gasping for air and wants you to take them off NOT put a plastic maxi pad in front of it. Unless this vibrates I am pissed off that it even exists!

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