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Taboo: Forbidden Love ~ In Love With The Berlin Wall

15 Jun

This just proves that there is nothing that people won’t have sex with. It’s a damn good thing that the Berlin Wall is not a chain link or a wood fence or this woman vagina would have some real freaking problems.

I hope to god that Home depot stocked up on their plywood because I am sure they are going to be flying off the selves after this episode!  Poor lonely single women resorting to weird objects to love and have sex with. Why can’t she just get a long purple plastic “B.O.B” (Battery Operated Boyfriend) like the rest of us?  LOL! I am pretty sure dry humping a piece of wall for years and years in your twin bed doesn’t go over too well with the gentlemen callers or roommates. I just hope this woman is smart enough to throw in a replica of the Eiffel Tower and have an orgy!

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I Am SO Disappointed Right Now: World’s Largest Penis

18 Apr

TLC Strange Sex: Well Hung

What a sad penis.

I am pretty sure this guys king cobra is trapped in a pair of Lee Dungarees and skid marked Junderpants. Of course the man with the largest Star Trek collection would also have the worlds largest dick.  I did NOT see this coming when analyzing the Penis Size World Chart! What a disappointment.  Why isn’t Mr. Moby Dick in the porn industry? At least in the porn industry he would get the respect that he deserves. And when I say respect I mean being able to bitch slap people with your 13.5 inch slong across the face.

Dear Vivid video, Please get your shit together.  Baby Forearm wants to be an actor and we are all pretty sure unless it’s on How To Catch a Predator we will never see this guy on T.V. Do your job.

Kevin Federline: Oops He Did It Again! Got a Girl Pregnant, That is.

6 Apr

I am pretty sick of Kfed inserting his penis and sperminating (yup I just made up that word) where it doesn’t belong.  Kevin “popozao” Federline is going to be a daddy (tally that up to baby 5!) with his girlfriend, ex-pro volleyball player Victoria Prince. Listen, we will let it slide with Britney Spears because that bastard was genius knocking her crazy ass up, you know…. since he supposedly gets around $50,000 per month in child support. WHITE TRASH GENIUS I TELL YOU! Kfed is in the baby making business. Knocking up hoe’s and getting paid for it! Not too shabby for someone who looks like they are about to birth a set of twins himself——>

 

 

Kate Gosselin: Cougar on the Prowl

24 Mar

Listen up boys. Mama Kate is out on the prowl for a new man toy.

Turn ons: Submissive, low self esteem, Asian Bad Boy, Hideous Tattoos

Must love kids, hair extensions, screeching, nagging and bitching.

 

You’d think the army of kids would keep her company, but apparently she’s lonely and needs a man! Kate was out sleazing around in NYC allegedly celebrating her 36th birthday. Uh huh, Riiiiiight. She is on the hunt!  A source told Evil Beet Gossip “It was supposed to be Kate’s 36th birthday celebration, but it was all about meeting men … She was all dolled up in a black cocktail dress, brought a camera crew and was chatting up a lot of guys. It wasn’t clear if they were actors or not.”

There’s also rumors that Kate might be filming a dating show. Meanwhile, here’s what Jon Gosselin is up to:

Scotty Mccreery Looks Exactly Like “MAD” Alfred E. Newman

17 Mar

I don’t even watch American Idol but last night I just happened to be flipping through the channels when all of a sudden Alfred E. Newman aka Scotty Mccreery was on stage next to our mini metro sexual Ryan Seacrest.  For this reason and this reason alone I think Scotty should be the next American Idol. Look at the picture, they are practically twins! Alfred our cartoon hunk of hotness is back! Watch out Sanjaya and that other gray haired old man who I think won American Idol but has never been seen again. America has voted.

Snooki On Monday Night Raw, She Knows Her Role

16 Mar

While The Situation was at the Donald Trump roast bombing harder than than Deena downing cheap tequila at Jenks, Snooki was rubbing greasy elbows with her future co-stars. Snooks took to the ring on Monday Night Raw.

She fit right in. Super tight shorts, animal prints, camel toe, spray tans, grease. It was like her Mecca. Snooki partnered with professional wrestler Trish Stratus to take on Michelle McCool and partner Layla. She was an Oompa Loompa on the loose.

I mean, she’s clearly a star. She out shined a woman getting kicking in the crotch and spanked with a shoe. Someone’s found her next paycheck!

The Situation Drops Grenades on The Donald Trump Roast

16 Mar

The Situation might be the King of GTL and an Original Jersey Shore Prankster but he can’t hack it when it comes to jokes. He BOMBED at the Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump.  Snooki’s Crocodilee would have done better.

Not only did The Situation’s jokes blow but he also got ran by ever other comedian on the stage. Sorry Sitch, you aren’t cutting it.

I think the Sitch’s 15 minutes are ticking down. He better knock up Deena or Snooki to reset the clock!

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