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Taboo: Forbidden Love ~ In Love With The Berlin Wall

15 Jun

This just proves that there is nothing that people won’t have sex with. It’s a damn good thing that the Berlin Wall is not a chain link or a wood fence or this woman vagina would have some real freaking problems.

I hope to god that Home depot stocked up on their plywood because I am sure they are going to be flying off the selves after this episode!  Poor lonely single women resorting to weird objects to love and have sex with. Why can’t she just get a long purple plastic “B.O.B” (Battery Operated Boyfriend) like the rest of us?  LOL! I am pretty sure dry humping a piece of wall for years and years in your twin bed doesn’t go over too well with the gentlemen callers or roommates. I just hope this woman is smart enough to throw in a replica of the Eiffel Tower and have an orgy!

Jay Z and Beyonce Are Seperated

15 Feb

Listen, the most important thing is that you know this is not your fault. They both still love you very,very much.But Jay Z and Beyonce are taking a page from the Ross n Rachel playbook. They are totally on a break.

According to MediaTakeOut, Jay and Beyonce are getting bogged down in the baby drama. As in Jay Z’s biological clock is ticking. He wants kids, B just isn’t quite ready to be poppin’ babies out her person. The trial separation comes after a year of arguing over the rugrat agenda.

Hey, Jay Z, be cool man. The woman has got a bangin bod and busy career. Let her live it up! She wants to look like this when workin it to Single Ladies:If she start poppin out  a litter of Jay Jr.’s she might start looking like this:And THAT, my friends, is not a fair trade. Although it would really test that whole “for better or worse” vow.

This split isn’t just a rumor. This shit is for real. Jay Z just signed on a lease for an LA Mansion with out Beyonce. She is staying in NYC to work. She’s gotta pay her bills, pay her telephone bills. She ain’t no scrub. I’m gonna be honest, I’m pretty bummed. I thought they were the perfect couple. Hopefully they can work things out! I mean if Solange can be a mama, so can the B!

David and Victoria Beckham: The Wedding Photo

15 Feb

Mostly I just want to say the only thing that is missing from this picture is a unicorn, fairies, and a gold rainbow.

Kelsey & Camille Finally Divorced?

10 Feb

Hells can we just get this over with already! Evidentially Kelsey is in a real big hurry to marry his girlfriend Kayte Walsh by the end of the month!  Although I am a little concerned that her clothes aren’t going to fit him? You know….. since his ex-wife Camille insinuated on the Howard Stern show that he likes to wear woman’s clothing and all. Supposedly the divorce went through yesterday 2/9/11, so let the wedding planning begin! Poor Camille I can’t wait to see what shenanigans she gets into being newly single with Kelsey’s money on the next season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills! I am sure she has a drawer of B.O.B’s aka “Battery operated boyfriend’s” to keep her company because having to choose between having sex with Kelsey or the Turbo Vibe 3000 must have been a really hard decision.

The Women of the Bachelor

8 Feb

Ladies of The Bachelor, I thought we have addressed that you need to turn down the crazy level? Last nights episode was another low blow for those who sport a vagina. Rules: Don’t be jealous, don’t be a tattle-tail, and don’t be drama! Brad go get on Eharmony like the rest of America and try dating that way and FYI America will be okay if you walk away at the end of this season, why? Because ABC handed you a bunch of crazies on their everlasting 4 month emotional period to fall in love with. Okay except Emily, she is just too sweet and cute to be a bitch to.

Here are two of the ladies that Brad finally got rid of. I don’t know their names because I forgot they were even on the show, that’s how much he is interested in them.

Trojan Triphoria Vibrator

7 Feb

Yes we agree, every woman should have a “B.O.B” aka “Battery Operated Boyfriend” but this commercial for the Trojan Triphoria is an embarrassment to the vagina. Why? Because I said. If any vibrator made my hair actually look like that I wouldn’t be at that bridal shower, I would be at home in bed with my feet up to the heavens! Plus no one needs three of the same vibrators! Personally I wouldn’t want to keep track of the different parts and tips to this things. There is a smorgasbord of vibrators and toys with different colors, shapes, functions, and speeds and no one should have to run down the battery’s of the same B.O.B every time. This commercial is also ridiculous because of the reaction of the “soon to be husband” at the end of the video clip ~ excited for his wife’s new toys. Laugh it up chuckles because that new toy your wife just received will at some point replace your penis when its not doing it’s job. It will be called Vibrator Envy!

Bachelor’s Michele Money Admits Affair With Carlos Boozer

28 Jan

Slutty!!  That koo koo crazy Michelle from the Bacherlor is also a big fat homewrecker! When Carlos Boozer was still on the Utah Jazz she was humping him up double time on the down low! Boozer is a cheating cheater too! According to Huffington Post and Michelle’s interview with Life&Style B00zer was still married when she started sexing him.

Michelle told Life&Style  she had an affair with NBA star Carlos Boozer – while he was married. Opening up about the scandal for the first time, Michelle tells Life & Style, “Yes, I was in a relationship with Carlos while he was still married. What I did was wrong.”  Wow, she sounds really remorseful in this paid for interview.

According to Life&Style’s press release:

When Michelle first met Carlos, she was a recent divorcee living in Salt Lake City, and he was a star forward on the Utah Jazz. Michelle implies that Carlos led her to believe he had separated – though he didn’t file for divorce until March 2009, while he and Michelle were involved. Michelle tells Life & Style she regrets any part she played in Carlos’ split from wife Cece. “I should never have been so naive to assume what I was told was true,” Michelle says now. “I’m not trying to shy away from the fact that he was still married. I don’t put that on Carlos. I don’t put that on anyone but myself. I feel terrible for Cece for that pain she’s had to go through and that I am a part of it.”
Despite Carlos’ split with his wife, he and Michelle ended things in June 2009. “All I can do,” Michelle says, “is try to do better with my life. I screwed up. But I can only try to do the best I can.”

Do you think she pulled the whole black eye scenario on Boozer like she did on Brad? Well one thing is for sure, Michelle’s whore’ish activities are far from over! Just wait, I’m sure she’ll claim to be pregnant with Brad’s baby before the end of the season.

Photo: Wetpaint
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